And that was how she knew something was wrong. It was soundless. She hadn’t woken up screaming, nor had she been startled awake by something that wasn’t there. She hadn’t had a nightmare. She hadn’t dreamt at all. It had been a soundless, uneventful coming to consciousness. And it scared her. For a number of reasons, but the main one being: her visions and hallucinations had become such a normal part of her daily life that she didn’t feel right without them. They had become a part of her. She almost…missed them. Since her first memory, she had seen things other people couldn’t. Things that weren’t there. At age four it had been cute stuff like beautiful princesses and fairies, greeting her with open arms, showing her their ancient homes in faraway lands. At age five, she learned the word ‘hallucination’, and that was when things began to change. Fairies turned into screaming children, yelling at her for help. Princesses were no longer beautiful, soft haired angels. Their hair. "I guess I was just too stupid. He was handsome and slick and I believed everything he said. He told me . . . oh, God, he told me I didn’t need Lila, that I did all the work and she was just dead weight. He said she was holding me back. I believed him. He was wrong, but I believed him." Luke was silent for a while. "Then what?" Grateful that he withheld comment, Emma made herself continue. "I made an effort at first to say no, Lila and I were a team. But he kept at it and at it. He told me I didn’t need her, that he had all these . . . contacts or something from people who were interested in me, if I would dump Lila. Then, I swear I couldn’t tell you the first time it happened, but he got me on drugs. "I can't believe that. I mean, I never wanted anything to do with drugs. At all. Lila and I, we were like, the cleanest kids ever in school. Then somehow . . . ." She ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know. It happened. I remember some things but not others." "When you want.
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